Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
