I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
