Dual....:-)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
