You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
