who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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