Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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