it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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