Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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