i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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