How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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