Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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