Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
