I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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