I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
