friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
