So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
