Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
