This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
