If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
