FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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