Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
