fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
