I wanna bring you to show and tell
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
pray to the hookup gods
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
false alarm, still single
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
