When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
