I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
