I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
