her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
