I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
