There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
