so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
