Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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