i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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