I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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