Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
