His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize