your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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