Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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