You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
