I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
