On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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