Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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