I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
