You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
