he thought i was a dude.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize