I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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