i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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