Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
