The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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