What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
