My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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