I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
