It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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