All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
