i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
