a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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