Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
