Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
