It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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