Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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