i already hear my dad disowning me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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