4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
