so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
