dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
