were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
